Telemarketing Teleology
I just got my second voicemail IN FOUR HOURS saying something about my vehicle’s registration or some such nonsense.
I have lived in NYC for 19 years. Last time I owned a car? 19 YEARS AGO.
For realz™ ??????
And it obviously doesn’t stop with telemarketers and
robocalls. I couldn’t begin to tell you how many spam emails per week I get
asking me if I’d like to try some new perfume or mascara; or telling me about
the new birth control pill on the market; or inviting me to come try on the
latest lingerie.
And I know my lady friends have experienced this as
well, as I’ve seen their complaints on social media platforms for far too long:
women getting solicitations for Viagra, or being offered a deep discount for
the latest pharmaceutical product to combat or cure male pattern baldness.
Ridiculous? Yes.
A nuisance? Of course!
One more symptom of the impending breakdown of our
collective national mental health? ABSOLUTELY.
Pushpin notifications; spam email; scam phone calls;
unwanted wasteful credit card applications and other junk mail.
Dear greedy lecherous disgusting misguided
corporations with billionaires at the helm with the sole purpose of inflating
shareholders’ stock portfolios and further lining your collective coffers while
the rest of us fight like hell to merely eke out a simple living without going
absolutely insane vis-à-vis the constant media-driven political, religious, social
and environmental 12-ring circus surrounding us daily:
CAN WE PLEASE COME TO AN AGREEEMENT THAT, AT THE
VERY LEAST, YOU WON’T WASTE OUR TIME WITH SOLICITATIONS THAT DON’T EVEN APPLY
TO US IN THE SLIGHTEST??? FOR F’S SAKE, I CAN BARELY FIND TIME TO DO MY
LAUNDRY, KEEP MY APARTMENT CLEAN, OR RECONCILE MY CHECKING ACCOUNT. PLEASE, FOR
THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST STOP ASKING ME IF I WANT TO GET BETTER CAR INSURANCE, BREAST
IMPLANTS OR VAGINAL LASER RECONSTRUCTION. IT’S THE EFFING 21ST CENTURY.
FIGURE OUT A WAY TO VET YOUR AUDIENCE. IF YOU’LL STOP HARASSING ME ABOUT THESE
THINGS, I PROMISE I’LL NEVER COMPLAIN AGAIN ABOUT JUNK OR SPAM MAIL!!!!!
I know, I know. Some of you will say, “WHY ARE YOU
SCREAMING AT US???”
Well, probably because I’m ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS
BREAKDOWN DUE TO THIS SYSTEM THAT HAS BEEN CREATED. One that is spinning out of
control, showing no signs of slowing down. And I know I’m not alone.
And we wonder why we have mass shootings, rampant
alcoholism and drug use, constant flaring tensions with complete strangers—both
online and in person; not to mention on a more macro level war, genocide, environmental
degradation, human trafficking, etc.
Unfortunately, I believe It’s all going to increase,
as the population problem continues to spiral upward.
The light at the end of the tunnel is getting
smaller. America is about to have a collective nervous breakdown.
Mark my words. I’ll be the one screaming “I told you
so!” as they cart me off in a straightjacket. But at least we’ll all have
matching outfits then! 😜
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