Mars Attacks!

 Roll out the red carpets! They’re finally coming!

I’ve lately been seeing multiple reports littering the social media landscape suggesting there is an alien ship heading our way which will likely arrive in November. LOL. At least we won’t have to worry about holiday shopping, which none of us will likely be able to afford anyway.

Whether these reports are true or not, and whether they be friend or foe, this prognostication surely tracks with our current asinine timeline. Remember in the early pandemic when folks starting trotting out those “bingo” cards on social media, constantly clamoring “I didn’t have this on mine” whenever something utterly ludicrous would occur? Yeah, we’re way past that now. All the cards are winners and nothing should surprise us at this point.

Either way, I think it’s safe to assume that inevitably in our future timeline, we would either be visited (again?) by lifeforms of superior intelligence (not a difficult task) — or else hit by a comet or asteroid which would lead to a global extinction level event similar to that which supposedly wiped out the dinosaurs

Everything has a return, right?

What would your response be in either scenario? Would it cause anxiety, fear, and panic as you lived out your last days wondering “why oh why,” as you regretted life choices? Would you find yourself among the masses (no pun intended) who would be counted amongst a huge uptick in attendance at religious services? Would you be the type to say “screw it” and walk out into the big pre-apocalyptic party in the streets, ready to give the human race one grand final sendoff? Would you revel in dystopian disorder and destruction, joining the inevitable vandals, rioters, and looters, acting out your frustrations on anything and everyone you encounter? Or would you simply shelter in place with family and friends for one final farewell?

Personally, I would find some measure of curiosity, comfort,  and closure in either scenario mentioned in the outset above.

On the one hand: If we were to be finally introduced to our intergalactic neighbors — be they benign or malevolent — at least it would be intrinsically unique regardless of outcome. With the recent pandemic, the current unfolding climate catastrophe, and the fanning of the flames of fascism across the globe, we are all privy to once-in-a-hundred-year events that seem historically required to crop up every so often, such that each human being on the planet is afforded the experience of that, whatever that is. THIS, though — whatever this turns out to be — might just be a once-in-human-history event! And as far as that possibility goes, I say count me in and pass the popcorn. It would be like ALL the Hollywood blockbusters combined, coming to actual, real, literal life. And there’s something incredibly exciting about that, regardless of outcome. Who wouldn’t want to shift from audience to extra for the greatest script ever imagined? Supernumeraries unite! (And bad spellers of the world untie!)

I’d sure prefer something like that scenario versus ridiculously repeating completely avoidable manmade atrocities like the holocaust, proving that humanity simply can’t learn from past mistakes no matter how much progress we have supposedly made as a species.

On the other hand, if it turns out just to be a big rock hurling towards us, it could still very well spell the end of human existence. And, again, I say pass the popcorn. Because I feel like we’ve failed the human race as well as our Mother Earth. Considering the fact that we can’t even all learn as a society simply to throw trash into designated receptacles, thereby relegating it to the rivers and seas; that we’re still hung up on different skin pigmentation as proof of superiority; that the nuclear arms race continues to this day as each nation creates more capability to blow each other into oblivion; that we can’t figure out how to take care of the most vulnerable in our midst; that we debase ourselves and act like outright animals towards each other at the slightest provocation; THAT PEOPLE SURRENDER THEIR PETS TO THE SHELTER JUST BECAUSE THEY GET OLD — well, I think we humans had our chance and we blew it. All of these global social problems have been around what seems like forever and we haven’t solved any of them. Not one. If anything, everything has gotten worse, with the exponential global population increase producing more parasites to suck up all the resources without abandon or care or concern for others.

We’re kinda simply stupid as a species.

So, if the news reports turn out to be true, I say bring on the big boulder barreling towards us! I say welcome our alien overlords! Whichever it turns out to be, perhaps come November we can finally close the book on our collective catastrophic failure. Me? I’ve had a rather unique life journey  and wouldn’t feel the slightest regret in that coming to an end. If there is such a thing as “the gates of heaven,” I’d roll up there with a smile and a smirk and say, “Good God that was incredibly interesting! Thanks!!”

As for how I’d spend those last days, I’d likely seek out my friends and family for one last fiesta — and then enjoy that final siesta.

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