Just pitiful

What a pitiful, petulant, whiny little man baby. Everything that spews from his mouth comes across as a full blown toddler temper tantrum. Now he’s targeting anyone he ever feels has slighted him in the slightest.

And now that Mike Johnson has declared we’re going to wage a year long campaign to mount the support necessary to garner him a Nobel Peace Prize, that means we’re going to have to listen to this garbage for an entire year.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but has anyone — ANYONE —  in the history of the Nobel awards ever tried to demand that THEY deserve a Nobel prize? It would be almost laughable if it weren’t so disgustingly infantile in its arrogance. ME ME ME! I’M THE GREATEST AT EVERYTHING THAT EVER WAS, SO WHY WON’T THEY JUST GIVE ME THE PRIZE THAT WAS OBVIOUSLY ORIGINALLY INVENTED JUST SO THAT IT COULD EVENTUALLY BE AWARDED TO ME????

Call me crazy, but someone who is indiscriminately and illegally murdering citizens of other countries without restraint, evidence, cause, or due process does not deserve a PEACE prize.

Call me crazy, but someone who pardons violent insurrectionists en masse and then arms them with weapons to go into his own cities to randomly terrorize literally anybody who dares question him or has brown skin does not deserve a PEACE prize.

Call me crazy, but someone who has staffed almost his entire administration with misogynists, homophobes, racists, and LITERAL NAZIS does NOT deserve a PEACE prize.

Ugh. We’re really going to have to listen to this crap for an entire year? About how much he deserves a peace prize — in the midst of also threatening to invade sovereign countries, disrespecting the leaders of the rest of the world telling them their countries are going to hell, causing real time economic pain for literally the entire world with ridiculous tariff wars, and dismissing — and thereby implicitly accepting — comments from members of his political party saying that they glorify rape, love Hitler, and want to see the gas chambers fired up? This guy? THIS GUY THINKS HE DESERVES A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE?

This is bonkers level insanity. Like, is this really happening in real time? Or are we all in some kind of mass delusion campaign to test all the boundaries for everything? I can’t take this for a year.

So, I’ve got a solution.

Someone should convene a special gathering of all the heads of state in the entire world, and the Nobel committee itself, and all of his sycophants and followers. And they should ride him in on a chariot, wearing a crown, and hang around his neck . . . wait for it . . . a medal signifying he has won a NOBLE Peace Prize. They’re all such idiots that they won’t even notice the misspelling. He can have “his award,” we can all clap for him and say “Sir! Sir! It’s about time!” And then we won’t have to listen to this ridiculous nonsense for an entire year.

If they REALLY want to rub it in, they could even give him a “No Bell Peace Prize.” And then to really REALLY rub it in, for whatever music they play during this ceremony:

MORE COW BELL.

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