OMG I’m dying over here! 🤣

You guys.

YOU GUYS! 🤣

I don’t know HOW the hell I stumbled across this video but I am literally dying right now! PLEASE check out the link and someone explain to me WHAT THE HELL I’M LOOKING AT LOL.

So, I don’t know who has seen the move “The Little Hours,” an R-rated racy comedy about naughty nuns living in a convent, which follows some of their sinful sexual exploits, starring the likes of Aubrey Plaza, John C. Reilly, Molly Shannon, Nick Offerman, and Fred Armisen. It is raunchy comedic gold, and highly recommended.

This movie is the first thing that sprung to mind when I came across this very legitimate, very serious, very not-ironic-whatsoever YouTube video entitled, “Gregorian Chants for Inner Peace and Divine Healing.” This obviously AI video is FOR REAL offering a meditative musical tapestry to help you find spiritual comfort and solace. The only problem is how comical the result is, but I want to thank the universe for giving me quite a good belly laugh on an otherwise drab day!

This video could almost be a musical soundtrack to accompany the aforementioned movie in its ridiculousness. LOOK AT THESE NUNS, Y’ALL! All white. All roughly 20-25 years old. All stunningly beautiful. If this weren’t AI, literally every single one of these “nuns” could easily have an OnlyFans account, offering sexy, sinful, and salacious subscriptions for a mere monthly contribution of a few dollars.

But wait! Tell me, classical music aficionados, would I not be entirely correct in claiming this is in NO WAY even close to Gregorian Chant? This crap sounds more like Enya and Loreena McKennitt singing in the seminary shower after a night of heavy drinking and making out. There’s likely some skeletons in the closet of that Secret Garden!   

But wait! This video for inner peace and healing goes on for FOUR AND A HALF HOURS. And it has a grand total of . . . get ready . . . EIGHT different vignettes. That’s right. It just repeatedly cycles through only eight different “scenes” for longer than one and a half “Cast Away” screenings.

But wait! This video also has over ONE MILLION VIEWS. And over 2500 comments. I read a good ways down into the comments section, and was rather disappointed to find not one person making fun of or mocking this video. I’ll guess that such comments are deleted, due to such uniformity? But what this leaves you with is 2500 people saying religious things, posting prayers, asking for spiritual help, and thanking God and Jesus for various things. Seriously, this many people came across THIS video and took some kind of spiritual nourishment from it. I guess, good for them? I’m not one to denigrate belief in the bible or the power of prayer. But, y’all. I. Literally. Just. Can’t. Right. Now. LOL.

This video gives me no spiritual vibes whatsoever — it honestly smacks more like the maidens from Castle Anthrax in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” who try to seduce Sir Galahad the Pure. This video should make Jesus weep. Has the Vatican seen this??? I think we could all use a good spanking. And, well, after the spankings . . . IYKYK. 🤣

Oh well. At the very least, if you’re a dude that don’t believe in god, then this could be the next best thing to pray to lol. Hell, maybe this could be some kind of recruitment tool to further fill the pews?

I guess if young frustrated men — who can’t get women to have sex with them because, well, because of who they are, what they write and post online, the things they say, and how they act in general — find this video and it leads them to the Catholic Church, then that’s better than losing them to White Christian Nationalism.

So, score one for Jesus! Just make it quick, before they detain him and send him away.

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